Old Man, I’m A Lot Like You Were

(750 words)

My dear old dad had a few sayings for me and my three siblings which he repeated often until he died. His words made a lasting impression on all four of us.

First, our dad was a scratch golfer back in his day and he would say quite often, “I’m going to die in the middle of my backswing.” While he played golf until he was 98, he did not die in the middle of his backswing, but he came close!

Second, he would regularly say, “I’m going to live to be 100!“ Well, he lived to be 99.7, but we like to round it up to 100. Not many people have the genes and overall health to make a call like that as a young parent to his kids, and follow through. Amazing!

And third, the most profound saying in light of our current political moment in American history was, “I vote for the person, not a party.“ He would go on to say he meant the whole person, and his or her character above all.

Growing up, I didn’t completely understand the importance of “vote for the person,” but I was just a kid running and playing barefoot outside every day. As the years went by I noticed dad had no affiliation with a political party. Most of our neighbors would have yard signs and freely gave their political opinions and party loyalties, but not my dad. He was a very private and independent guy who took voting seriously and believed, like most Americans, his vote was important.

There was a time when I was a bit jealous of those families who affiliated with a red or blue tribe. They took pride in their staunch loyalty to the “party line,“ secure in the knowledge that they were on the right side of history. I felt like an outsider, but with time I gained a deeper understanding of where my dad was coming from.

His vote was sacred to him, the gift of liberty bestowed by our American democracy. He would not allow his vote to be mandated by a party. His loyalty was to his own values which were the foundation of his choice. He owned his vote 100%.

Despite his independence, he did respect our two-party system. But he knew that no person is perfect, no policy is perfect, no party is perfect, and no candidate is perfect for all of America. Rather, he believed in the power of non-partisan character and civility in a leader to achieve the best results for the common good prioritized by a majority of Americans, while not leaving the minority behind. Dad’s loyalty was to these pillars of democracy.

Our dad believed in and lived those values which we all learned every day from our parents, teachers, religious leaders, coaches, and a few good books along the way:

accountability, balance, character, civility, common sense, compassion, decency, dignity, empathy, ethics, fairness, generosity, honesty, humility, inclusiveness, integrity, kindness, mutual respect, restraint, rule of law, sensitivity, thoughtfulness, tolerance, trustworthiness, and wisdom.

He felt that if it was good enough for him and the average voter, then it was good enough for people of privilege and wealth and power to live up to the same standards in order to:

• inspire the men and women of Congress to cooperate in a bipartisan collegial way,

• eliminate chaos and corruption in the White House, and

• set an example for all Americans and indeed the world, especially our kids!

How far have some American politicians strayed from these values? Unfortunately, I would say in some camps they’ve turned these values upside down to disrupt, intimidate, and disinform. These politicians believe “the ends justify the means” and would say:

• Accountability, ethics, fairness, generosity, honesty, and rule of law are for losers.

• Balance, common sense, restraint, and wisdom are boring.

• Character, civility, decency, dignity, humility, integrity, mutual respect, and trustworthiness are for the meek and weak.

• Compassion, empathy, inclusiveness, kindness, sensitivity, thoughtfulness, and tolerance are for “woke lunatics”.

• Cheating and rude-lude-crudeness are seen as aggressive, tough, crafty, strategic, and “fighting for you!”

My dad would be sad, disappointed, and angry about the current situation in our country. If he were still alive, he would be following his code of character counts above all, and he would already know his vote for President of the United States.

In the lyrics of Keb’ Mo’:

And here we are

Standing on the brink of disaster

Enough is enough is enough is enough

I know the answer