The Pillars That Hold Our Lives Together

(750 words)

Life is like a pendulum, with the forces and cycles of the universe, earth, nature, and society swinging back-and-forth, left and right, as the planet is forever trying to balance itself. Americans have survived periods of imbalance and chaos throughout our history: natural disasters, pandemics, inflation, war, social upheaval, crime, and politics. We’ve always survived extremes by embracing those core values or “pillars“ that sustain our society and make life worth living.

Most Americans share a set of core values that keep our lifeboats afloat through challenging times: marriage, family, home, neighborhood, purpose, and faith.

Marriage, Partnerships, Relationships

If you can find someone to love and care for, you have discovered the greatest joy in life. My wife and I have been married for 53 years. We never thought about longevity, we just lived each day with love and so far so good! Having a true lifetime partner gives a couple a strength and resiliency to deal with the inevitable joys and sorrows of life.

Family & Friends

Parents, siblings, spouse, kids, grandkids, et al -- there is nothing more important than family. Our extended families are distributed across the country from east coast to west coast, Chicago down to Texas, so being together in person is a real treat when it does happen. Like most families, we exchange texts, pictures, zooms, take road trips, and we have a reunion somewhere in the country every other summer. Our family has learned the hard way, no politics at the Thanksgiving table!

Home

Home is where our hearts are, but it is also our protection when stormy social winds blow. We found an old house on a boulevard block with hundreds of huge trees all around us. We immediately fell in love with this house and we are still here and will be here until we die (at least, that’s the plan). Our house is 100 years old and solid as a rock; we have lived in it for 41 years and are the second owners. It has been, it is now, and will be forever “our home“ in every sense of the word. Our kids have our permission to spread my ashes somewhere in the backyard while nobody is watching.

Neighborhood

It has been said that America can reunite itself “one neighborhood at a time.” We bought our house the first time we saw it, and it turns out to be THE BEST NEIGHBORHOOD and neighbors you can imagine! Our neighborhood traditions have lasted decades: in winter, a Holiday House Walk and a bright Holiday Star atop a tall tree; in spring, an Easter Egg Hunt for the little ones; in summer, a July 4th parade/water balloons/picnic; and in fall, Cider & Donuts in the park and Halloween drawing 200+ trick-or-treaters. There are thirteen plaques at the base of trees memorializing deceased neighbors. We are a diverse and civil collection of families united by our shared appreciation of something special.

Purpose

Everybody needs a purpose in life and for many it is a job(s) that you enjoy so you can take care of the ones you love. In my case, I have made a “peaceful transition of power“ to becoming a retiree, trying to be the best husband, father, grandpa, brother, uncle, cousin, friend, neighbor, volunteer, and writer I can be. It’s a labor of love that never ends.

Faith

My wife and I have an “interfaith marriage.” She has a very strong faith that has given her strength and peace her whole life. She is a loyal Catholic and never misses a mass or holy day. I, on the other hand, am a spiritual free-range simple man, with a faith in the infinite complexity and beauty of the universe above, the Earth below, and a respect and acceptance of all the faith traditions. Our two faiths are interwoven in our daily lives and made stronger by the synergy.

Your Lifetime Pillars Will Stand Strong

I would bet most Americans believe that some mix of marriage, family, home, neighborhood, purpose and faith are important pillars in their lives and what they focus on each day. This is what inspires us, sustains us, anchors us, and why America “has always been” a great country. Even though we may sense uncertainty on the horizon, if we all hold tight to these core values that enrich and protect our humanity, Americans will stay united against forces inside and outside our country that seek to divide us. I guarantee it.

Buckle up America! Here we come 2025!